“If we can love each other better, God will use us in deeper ways within this church body and our community… Let us minister wisely toward each other…
God is seen in our love for one another… Ministry to the hurting is in the truest sense an expressing the character of God…
Empathy is key to ministering well…
Caring for other in suffering is a holy and sacred place…
When walking into someone’s life that is suffering we cannot seek to change how they respond to hurt in a way that is comfortable to us… we have to meet them where they are at as they uniquely deal with their pain…
We must strive to understand the depth of the pain, and listen, truly listen to the person in front of us… their history, their understanding of God and their worldview and so many other factors affect how they respond to trauma…
We can bring two elements into the life of the suffering… Jesus and ourselves…
In prolonged suffering people many times will feel abandoned by God… but if they can sense God’s presence and love in you and your reactions toward them – in you they will see, touch and hear the love of God…
Connect meaningfully… “It’s good to see you”
Follow the other persons lead… Don’t assume on feelings, but listen to what they are really saying…
Focus on the other person… These moments are not about us but where they are at…
Share personal experiences sparingly… Don’t present yourself as superhuman… no horror stories…
Don’t fear the silence…
Crying is okay…
When people talk about how they feel, believe them… Let them know you believe them, allow them the validation of not having to defend their feelings… This doesn’t mean you’re agreeing with their feelings, only that you’re not the one feeling them…
In all of this you are God’s hands and feet in these moments… speak in love, listen in love, be present in love…
“As they beat against God’s chest, God’s loving arms are waiting to enfold them.”
Listen, listen, listen is the wisest thing to do when loving those that are suffering…
Caring must move beyond intentions to actions…
Platitudes can have good intentions, but it’s best to avoid them… people tend to politely shutdown when they come out…
• “I know how you feel”
• “It’s for the best”
• “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”
• “At least…” minimizing
• “You should/shouldn’t…” telling people what to feel and do…
• “God doesn’t give you more than you can handle”
• “It’s God’s will…”
Also let us not deny the reality of a situation with the idea that we’re being optimistic… We need to resist the temptation to “cheer people up”…
We have it within us individually and as a church body to create a safe place for those that are suffering…
We must lead with our heart over our head in our care for the suffering… bad news comes; the head responds with a solution tree to figure out the next course of action, the heart responds with empathy and shared pain at the bad news…
We can show genuine love to a world starving for love and filling themselves with cheap destructive imitations of genuine love… ”